List of...

ten things i hate about myself (physically):

1. My nose. I have a terrifying nose. It doesnt look like a normal nose like other people. Short, cutted, small, flat, and obviously uninteresting.

So I... tell the world, that my nose was created by God with Minimalist Concept of Design, and its kinda rare, that government should protected this and make a law about it.

And my friends react... Hell you!

2. My eyes. My right eye is bigger than my left eye. I believe this is because my face structure is asimetric and my left eye pulled to the left side so it can't take any space to place. Plus, it makes some distances between the right and the left.

So I... tell everybody that Jennifer Hawkins (Miss Universe 2004), Kurara Chibana (1st runner up Miss Universe 2006), and Agni Pratistha Arkadewi Kuswardono (Puteri Indonesia 2006) are having an unbalanced eyes like me.

And my friends react... yeah, them. But you're not!

3. My hair. I have a curly hair which I thought 'never suitable for my face and my head size'. Plus, this curly hair is a new species. Nobodies can define what type of curly I have.

So I... tell all my friends, that this is only illusion. This is only shadow. This is not real. My hair is straight and obviously my hair has been tricking you!

And my friends react... What a VERY REAL illusions!

4. My Lip. Too big. Diagonal. Dark Brown. And Nightmare. Its kinda Angelina Jolie lip when she fail in lip surgery.

So I... tell all peoples that I'm the 1st runner up in Lip Universe Pageant which is won by Angelina Jolie.

And my friends react... yeah... i see that pageant! And if i'm not mistaken, the contestants is only two, right? you and miss Jolie??

5. My chin. It didn't place well. Placed too left. And bloomed by little hair. My friends tells that it might be the root of your teeth.

So I... tell them, that... this is nice, unique, and if you're still speaking about this, it means you're jealous!!

And my friends react... who are you talking with?

6. My shoulder. My left shoulder is wider and longer than my right. And its automatically made my left chest bigger than my right.

So I... ask them to talk about the girl who was moving to the neighbour. I wish they won't talk about my shoulder.

And my friends react... No, it is not a girl. He is a boy. And he is not a new kids on the block. HE IS MY BROTHER!

7. My stomach. Everytime i saw a mirror, i'll always get scaried. What a nightmare! i look like Papa Bears who plays in porn movie. BIGBIGBIGBELLY!!

So I... ask my closest friends, "Is that really big?"

And my friends react... "You are ANOREXIC! thats a SMALL BELLY! i even admire your belly!"

Then I... speak again, "No. This is big. Could you see the fat here?"

And my friends... yelling, "THATS MUSCLE!"

8. My feet. Short. Big. Fatty. And cannot be strecthed so I can't do a toe touch, split, or any of gymnastics movements. It size 43. Hairy. And everyday I wish I wake up and find my feet is a little bit thin and long.

So I... tell my buddy, This is kind of strong feet! i always use this to walk hundred of miles.

And my friends react... Leprechaun.

9. My Height. I am 172 cm, or 5'7". I think this is too short for me if i wanna join modelling agency. And this is too short if I wanna touch my bedroom roof. And the bad thing is, I am the shortest person in my class!!

So I... said, "Short always means Cute..."

And my friends react... "Do you mean Ucok Baba is also cute?"

10. My Whole Body. Because I have nine complains and all of them are NIGHTMARE for me!

So I... tell my friends, do not expect me a beautiful girl, because i dont have a beautiful body for her.

But my friends react... Yeah. You shouldn't marry that beautiful girl. because the very beautiful girl is her who see you from who you are, not your body.

I thanks to them, and said, "thanks.... at least, I have a sexy butt"

"NO, YOU'RE NOT!"